So I was Google Imaging Tracy Grimshaw, nothing out of the ordinary really seeing as it’s part of my daily work schedule:
8.45: Arrive at work.
9.00: Make cereal.
9.01: Check ninemsn.com.au for any juicy ACA goss.
9.15: Totally dig the lack of referencing and author ownership. (side note: who exactly is ‘Ninemsn Staff’? Aside from having a convenient name, I get the feeling that he/she is a real workaholic)
9.16: Head to textsfromlastnight.com
9.30: Check emails.
10.00: Do work.
10.30: Check youtube for ACA funnies.
11.00: Do work.
11.30: Call Tracy Grimshaw.
11.31: Voicemail. She must be taping. Leave a brief message and hang up phone.
11.32: Call Mike Munro, try to give him the nickname “Mike the Kid” and ask if he still hangs with the ACA crew namely Tracy Grimshaw. Puzzled response. Hang up phone.
11.33: Do work.
12.00: Lunch. Google Tracy Grimshaw images. Nothing new uploaded. “Right click, save as” my favourite ones.
12.15: Colour print saved images, followed by a work memo. Head to printer. The perfect crime.
12.30: Head to the toilet, scatter the images over the floor and cry over them yelling “why won’t she just recipricate my love?”
12.32: Gather up the images and return to desk.
12.33: Check voicemail. No response. Gather up images and head to toilet again.
12.40: Resume work.
1.00: Call Ray Martin. Notice the changed number. Exclaim “prick!” and frighten worker next to me.
1.02: Call ACA direct with a new story idea, usually one that involves kid’s fruit juice or speeding fines.
1.04: Get shut down by the receptionist (usually Rhiannon or Vanessa) who terminates the call.
1.05: Do work.
1.30: Google images of Ray Martin. Print off images, an office memo and collect from the printer.
2.00: Pin up the images of Ray.
2.05: Throw food scraps at his face.
2.30: Do Work.
3.00: Call Tracy again.
3.01: SHE ANSWERS!
3.01: Nope, I’ve dialled a ’3′ instead of a ’6′.
3.01: Curse out the woman on the phone. Frighten worker next to me.
3.02: Dial the right number.
3.02: SHE ANSWERS!
3.02: She mumbles something about not having the time for “jokes” today.
3.03: She hangs up.
3.04: Youtube songs about unrequited love that end with the singer having just a glimmer of hope after the love of their life tells them they don’t have time for jokes “today”.
3.10: Search results are inconclusive.
3.11: Search upbeat songs that leave the singer hopeful that the next day will bring to them Tracy Grimshaw holding a Bodyshop gift basket.
4.00: Make a playlist, which is usally just Neil Diamond’s ‘I’m A Believer’ on repeat.
4.58: Shut down computer, take down soiled pictures of Ray.
4.59: Call the Bodyshop.
So anyway, I was googling the images and stumbled across this little gem of a forum. And it’s like, “uh losers, get a life.” Don’t sit there discussing the lives of news reading and human interest officers (a term I am trying to pen to describe ACA/TT presenters), especially on a rail forum. What the hell? They’re never going to see that, you got to get to source direct: their homes. I unfortunately have some sort of order that restrains me from entering the city of Sydney, but what’s the bet none of these guys are in this sort of pickle? Just don’t touch their hair.
